Week one complete! I’ve tried Couch to 5K a few times in the past and never made it this far, so I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.
A couple of fears creeped into my head as I was out tonight, though.
1-What if I’m pushing myself too far, too fast? I’m still smoking, for fuck’s sake. (I’ve been trying to cut back, by the way.) But what if I’m just setting myself up for failure?
2-What if I was just never cut out to be a runner? When I was in high school, I weighed at least 50 pounds less than I do now. And I still struggled with running. What if I’m expecting too much of myself?
I guess it’s all stemming from not seeing a change in my endurance as I’m running and walking. I think my recovery is a bit better, but that’s it. Maybe the gradual pace of C25K is still too fast for me.
I’m still going to keep working the program. I’m still going to do the 5K on Thanksgiving. I just need to tell myself that it’ll be okay to walk if I need to. Passing out will not help anyone. And quitting will not get me anywhere.